Down the Ailse and Out of Control

As a pastor for 27 years, I've presided over my share of weddings. I've conducted ceremonies in backyards, front porches, and living rooms. I've led nuptials on Caribbean beaches and at restaurants, in beautiful church auditoriums and in my office. I've even conducted a ceremony underwater wearing scuba gear (yes, ask me sometime).

From that perspective, I can tell you that Rebecca Mead is on to something with her critique of the out-of-control phenomenon we call the modern American wedding (One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding).

Our Austin American-Statesman ran a New York Times review of Mead's book this past Sunday (here). She says that while engagement rings, lavish receptions and even honeymoons were largely unheard of in the United States before the 1940s, the national average for a wedding today runs close to $30,000. That's a 100 percent increase since 1990, with the wedding industry raking in $161 billion annually. Mead writes:

If a bride has been told, repeatedly, that it costs nearly $28,000 to have a wedding, then she starts to think that spending nearly $28,000 on a wedding is just one of those things a person has to do, like writing a rent check every month or paying health insurance premiums. (Or she prides herself on being a budget bride and spending a mere $15,000 on the event.) She is less likely to reflect upon the fact that $28,000 would have more than covered a 10 percent down payment on the median purchase price of a house in 2005 and would cover the average cost to a family of a health insurance policy, at 2005 rates, for a decade. The bride who has been persuaded that $28,000 is a reasonable amount of money to spend on her wedding day is less likely to measure that total against the nation's median household income — $42,389 in 2004 — and reflect upon whether it is, in fact, reasonable for her or for anyone to spend the equivalent of seven and a half months of the average American's salary on one day's celebration.

I'm not posting about this in reaction to any recent or upcoming weddings (he hastily adds). And with the age of my sons, I expect I'll be dealing with my own family wedding bills soon enough. But as a pastor, frankly I'm glad Mead has given us all something to talk about.

For further information, Albert Mohler interviewed Mead on his radio program (listen here).