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Monday, August 01, 2011

The Five Commandments of "Words With Friends"

Funny stuff. Jon Acuff gives us the Five Commandments of Words with Friends:

1. Thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s words.

Just like in Scrabble, each time you play a turn, you get a collection of letters you can use to spell a word. Don’t covet your neighbor’s letters if they get the much-desired “blank letter” which can be used as any letter. Don’t out act in envy if you find yourself without a single vowel.

2. Thou shalt not cheat.

There are four different apps that you can use to cheat on Words with Friends. One of them is called “Cheat with Words.” You tell the apps what letters you have and the apps will tell you every possible word you can form. When someone used the word “Horjemr” in a game against my wife, it was clear they were cheating. No one on the planet regularly uses the word “Horjemr.” Except maybe “Horjemr Smith” who only uses it to say, “I sure hate my parents for naming me Horjemr.”

3. Thou shalt not strike a person who always adds “S” to your words.

The “S guy” is the worst person to play in Words with Friends. This vocabulary villain waits until you spell a brilliant word and then lazily tacks on an S to the end of it, soaking up all the points with none of the work. Scoundrel! But before you lash out, keep in mind, this is a completely fair move. Dastardly perhaps, but it’s not cheating.

4. Thou shalt heed the call of “Your Move” quickly.
Your iPhone buzzed. Your Droid beeped. Your smartphone essentially said, “Hey, it’s your move on Words with Friends.” Do not tarry friend. Do not delay. Make your move quickly. Play your word with great haste.

5. Thou shalt not be a sore loser.

You lost. In one fell swoop your opponent got a triple letter score with a Z and tore your word kingdom asunder. Do not slander or gossip. Do not throw barbs or have a mouth of poison like the wicked. In other words, don’t use the chat feature of Words with Friends to talk trash.


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