“It was about my feeling that if you did all the right things, you would get all the right results”

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

That’s a proverb, not a guarantee. A proverb states what is generally true. What is generally true is that if you engage in the hard work of good parenting, you will see the fruit of your labor lived out in your adult children.

So, what do you do if you “train up a child”—that is, if you invest in your child’s interests, discipline your child, set a good example for your child, display God’s glory to your child—what do you do if train up your child in the way he should go and then he departs from it?

Moms (and Dads) will be grateful for this guest post on A Holy Experience by Lysa TerKeurst. It starts out this way:

I stood at the vending machine infuriated.

More than annoyed. More than mad.  More than angry.

Infuriated.

A girl can sometimes have responses out of proportion to the wrong they are experiencing.  And like a compass pointing to truth north, this infuriation pointed somewhere.  Somewhere, I didn’t want to explore.

I wanted a Diet Coke. So I did what was required.  I followed the rules.  I put in the required money.  I pushed the right button.

Only what I got wasn’t at all what I wanted.

Something had gone wrong.

I clenched my fists and bit my lip.

And I knew. My out of proportion response wasn’t really about a soda.

It was about being disillusioned. By one of my teens.

It was about my feeling that if you did all the right things, you would get all the right results. You do what’s expected of you and you’ll get what you expect.

Put in the money. Push the button. Get the Diet Coke.

Put in all the time.  (Love.  Daddy daughter date nights.  Intentionality.  Prayer. Discipline.  Bible lessons.  Sundays at church.  Dinners at the table.  Talks at bedtime.  Kisses.  Hugs.  And chores.)

Push the button.  Get the child that walks the straight and narrow.

But sometimes you get the unexpected.

And you know what I’m tempted to do as a mom?  Draw a straight line from my child’s wrong choice to my weakness in mothering.

That will just about kill a mama.  Crack her heart open and fill it with paralyzing regret of the past and fear for the future.  And that’s exactly where Satan wants us mama’s to stay.  Paralyzed.

But what if that’s the wrong line to draw?

Read the rest.