Sweet Revenge?

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Two tugboat captains, pals for years, passed each other every morning in the channel. If all was well, each man would wave, yell ‘Aye!’ and blow his tugboat whistle in a friendly salute.

One day a new crewman saw all of this, and he asked a deck hand, “Hey, why do they do that?”

And the deck hand replied, “What? You mean you’ve never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?”

Okay, I had to get that out of my system. You see, I’m preparing for this week’s message in our “Extreme Makeover” series, and this week we’re looking at Christ’s call to reject retaliation (Matthew 5:38-42). “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” cannot be the guiding proverb of a believer’s life.

It’s not easy to put this into practice in a world that keeps people like Lesa Patrock and Alan Abel in business. The Wall Street Journal reported on these two “revenge specialists” a few years ago. Using insights from her college degree in psychology and sociology, Patrock will deliver a specially tailored ‘revenge package’ to the offending party. Cost: $35 fee plus reimbursement for any out-of-pocket expenses incurred while carrying out the act of revenge.

Then there’s Alan Abel, who has dubbed himself the “Master of Retaliation.” For $25, you can sign up for his two-and-a-half hour session called “Don’t Get Mad, Get Even.” The seminar includes a manual of 100 of his proven revenge techniques, such as leaving a loudly-ticking alarm clock in a gift-wrapped box on the desk of the boss who gives you a hard time. He says he’s instructed about 1200 students in the art of retaliation--mostly jilted lovers and offended employees.

Now, if you’re tempted to ask me for the address of either one of these revenge specialists, you might want to come to this week’s Bible study first! Our “Bold Blend” service meets at 9:30am and our “Smooth Blend” service meets at 10:45am. You can also listen online Monday (iTunes; website).

By the way, we’ve scheduled a recognition of graduating seniors for the Bold service. We’ll also celebrate three baptisms. If you want to follow Christ in baptism, contact me immediately!